I am only a teen girl!
by skittiso
Summary: Nessie feels that everyone is out to hurt her, the only one who makes her feel loved is Beal a "bad" vampire . even jacob has moved on. nessie is so lost and scared of whats next.because one minute jacob loves her and the next he is all over his gf!


"Nessie honey, go get the last box out of the kitchen, it's on the floor by the door." Mom said as she walked out to uncle Emmett's truck with some boxes full of cups that we don't even use.  
"I can't believe we're moving." I said under my breath as I picked up the box of dishes out of the kitchen.  
"Sweetheart, you know you need to go to school and you can't go here. We went to the schools not even 7 years ago and we graduated. There is no way they will believe that we have a daughter that is the 9th grade already." Dad said putting his arm around me and kissing my forehead with a box in his other hand.  
I rolled my eyes because I knew he was right.  
"I know, but I don't want to move to Alaska and I don't want to move with out Jacob. Can I at least tell him before we go that I miss him?" I whined for the millionth time, hoping that this time they would listen to what I had to say, and let me at least tell him goodbye.  
"I'm sorry Nessie, but we have to move and I think it is best if Jacob doesn't know we're leaving. It will be easier for you two to part if he is just left in the dark about this, trust me I know Jacob" Mom said with a cold tone as if she knew Jacob at all.  
"But you really don't know him" I mumbled as I sat on the porch...  
It has killed me not seeing Jacob for the last two months. I told him I was in trouble, and couldn't see him. He and I still talked on the phone every night and met up sometimes in are secret spot. We saw each other every few days, but now that I know I can never see him again, I don't know what I will do being so far away from him, so out of touch. I sat there on the porch of my old house daydreaming about my best friend and how cold I was being for leaving and just forgetting. I just hope he doesn't forget about me as I am to him.  
"Come on Nessie" Mom said opening the truck door for me, motioning for me to get in, and walking to the other side to drive the huge truck.  
I walked the slowest I have ever, barley picking up my feet. I never wanted to go so I saved the little time I had to stay feeling the need to run the other way. To leave everything I know and try to be something I am not... That wasn't what I planned to do before I go to high school. They just don't understand. I can't just leave Jacob behind and not say goodbye I need him. I will have to return to tell him the truth about what is going on. I just have to. My mom can just leave, and so can my dad, but I will return.  
"Some time today, Renesmee." my mom said getting annoyed and frustrated with my stubbornness.  
When I finally got into the car, I didn't look at her but kept my eyes on the house I once called home. I started to think about the new house that I will not settle into because I know I will not stay long for returning was now my biggest goal.

The trip to Alaska was quiet. I gave my parents both the silent treatment the whole way. I was even trying to keep my thoughts to myself so my Dad would not get anything from me either. I was madder then the time he told me not to kill that old lady and then two days later she passed away. That was so stupid. I was so mad I could rip out their throats out. But I didn't because they're my parents and I love them. Just not what they do or make me do. That is what I felt then but right now I have a urge to kill them and run home. I wish aunt Alice were still here. She would be in my favor to stay . She loved this house as much as I did and forks was something that she loved a lot too, but she and Jasper are gone. They wanted to have some alone time doing god knows what for the past year. Ew. But I am surprised that there still gone, I mean Jasper was getting really good in public places so why stay away any longer?  
I slowly saw the change in the outside world. The day was turning to night and the clouds were coming in to cover up the night sky. I also started to see less and less cars as we got off of the freeway and more snow, ice and trees. I kept looking outside for Jacob's rabbit to come save me from this nightmare, but it never came. It was like he didn't even know something was wrong. Well, how could he? I was so mean just to stop talking to him. He did not even know about the move, so how could he stop it? Well how could I?.  
Mom and dad stopped a few times to talk to each other and when they did I stayed in the car just sipping away at my blood-in-a-cup. I love it, Jacob made it for me when I wanted blood, but I was hanging with him, he mixed blood and raspberries to make something more tolerable to his nose. Ever since then this is the way I drink my blood. It is perfect since I am human as well as I am a vampire. But after this I think I am more vampire than anything else. Cold, Heartless and Forgetting. Just like my mother. I do not know how my dad could say to me that she was once not like this, that once she loved Jacob very much when she was human...but now she wants to kill him every second there near each other. I do not see why she is such a bitch to him, what I have heard they go far back?

I don't know how I can live through high school without him, or even live at all. He was there whenever I needed help in the past, or just needing a friend. Now I am on my own. It's just me against the world and right now the world is winning.

We had to take a boat to get across the water to get to the house. It took forever. I mean hours just to show and then two hours to getcrossed the stupid river to are doc. When we got on, there was not that many people so I was happy to be as alone as possible at the moment. I don't think that I could control my anger. I felt like I might bite some one right now...If they would come near. Not because I was hungry or because someone smelled really good, but because I just wanted for someone to feel my pain, to feel this helpless under my grip. To die with my hands to blame so everyone would see that I am not happy and that I will get what I want...I want _**Jacob**_. I thought as I sat down on a crate away from everyone.

"Dear, do you want something to eat or drink"? A old man asked sitting next to me on another crate, with his cane right between his little old legs shaking and wobbling.  
I could bite his throat and he couldn't make a sound, but that little girl with the pink balloon would see and scream, then I would have to take her out to. That would be easy. Just brake her neck. As I do that I could have the old man on his knees as I simply walk over there. But when I take the little girl out her mother would see that she is gone, then I would have to take her poor mother out too. Well then I would have to just take the whole boat out after that. I mean what would the point be if I didn't. There is about fifteen people on here not including the driver and my parents. Oh crap! My dad would stop me...Then I would have to explain why I have thoughts to kill innocent people and then I would have to tell them that I miss _**my**_ Jacob, and start to cry again.  
"Young lady...Do you want anything to eat, I have plenty." the old man asked again scooting really close, so close I could smell his blood just running threw out his body.  
"Yeah, you". I growled uncontrolled as I felt my throat burn for his blood. He was to close for his own good.  
" I am not scared...Honey, I know what you are, no need to get all worked up". He said all calm looking at me with his big gray eyes full of secrets that I was now so curios to know.  
"Ah...um". I shuddered in confusion as I thought  
_**help me**_ to my dad. I hoped he would hear because I couldn't understand why the old man would not run and make a big deal about me wanting to eat him. I could still feel my thirst getting harder to fight off when I let my self think those awful thoughts. But the were oh-so-enjoyable. I could not fight it off much longer. I thought this all so my father would come and stop me from taking this man...but it is too late. I lunged for his throat where I could see his old vanes pumping with sweet, hot blood. I felt my teeth sink into his skin, my mouth filled with the sweet taste of the poor mans blood, I could feel him twitching beneath my grip. I never wanted to stop. This was the best I have ever tasted in my life, so go-  
"Nessie stop"! My dad yelled tugging me off of the poor old, helpless man I was slowly killing. I did not budge.  
"Get off of him"! My mom screeched helping my dad trying to pry me off of the man.  
I wanted to stop, but I couldn't stop. It was so good, I had to have more, I just had to have it. I unlocked my jaw painfully trying not to kill him, _**STOP! **_I thought to my self trying to stop, trying to let go, to spare this victim to my anger.  
"She's trying to stop, she's needs to stop" my dad reassured my mom who was now talking to the man making sure I didn't kill him..._**  
Stop!!!**_I thought as I slowly felt myself fall to my knees.  
(Blacked out)

When I woke up I was in the car in the front of the new house. I saw uncle Emmett and aunt Rose. They were already taking stuff out of the back of the truck. They looked freakishly happy. Didn't mom tell them what I did? Shouldn't I be in trouble? I didn't see grandma Esme or grandpa Carlisle, and it was weird because they told me that they would be waiting for us to come. Grandma said she would make me some cookies that she has been dying to make off this cooking show she likes, but I guess not.  
The house was beautiful, it was huge and this lovely red cherry color. It reminded me of the poor mans blood that I could taste under my tongue. I felt so bad. I should have stopped sooner, I should have not done it at all. It also had a rap around deck with a full garden all around it and a water fountain in the front yard. My dad always knew how to pick out a good house. He and grandpa picked out the other house too. Just like that one it was far away from people and into the woods which reminded me of Jacob. If only he was here, I would have never took that mans life! I would have never been mad.  
I got out of the truck and grabbed the box by my feet full of stuff Jacob gave me, including all of the pictures we took and old memories that we kept I was going to leave it for him with a note but I wanted to look threw it, I havent been in it sent last summer. I walked into the house and aunt Rose just eyed me and my dad looked like he was going to say something but he just walked back out side. I brought the box up to the room that they wanted to call mine, but I won't because I am not going to be staying long. The walls were white and chipped and there was no carpet just wood floors  
"yucky" I said to myself as I stepped on the floor and it creaked. My dresser and bed was already in here from the first trip down here. I stayed at forks then and snuck out to see Jacob. Then it was like he knew I was leaving because when we parted that night he hugged me and whispered 'you're my best friend' in my ear. It made me feel all warm in side, I kissed his cheek and walked home thinking of him.  
When I went back downstairs I saw aunt Rose talking to my dad about something but they stopped as soon as I came down. It was most likely what happened on the boat. Uncle Emmett was still hauling things in from the truck and mom was unpacking stuff that we did not even need. I mean really! We don't even use plates! For the rest of the day I kept to myself and just took things to my room to try to be happy. It didn't work, I was still missing my Jake and I still felt bad for the man that I attacked.  
I have never missed Jacob this much, he is who I want to see and no one else even matters! I just want him. It is like if you take a teddy bear away from a kid that is to old to have stuffed animals, they still love them, they want to cry but they know that if they do it will just punish them even more knowing that they still do not have there teddy bear. In this case I was the kid to old and Jacob was my teddy bear, so far away out of my reach.  
I didn't go hunting with everyone tonight. I was just too mad to even look at them right now and I was scared to see them. I didn't want to get yelled at for what I did on the boat over here. Anyways, right now I do not want any blood. I think I am done with it for some time but, I am craving Twinkles, they were Jacob's favorite food and now mine in memory of him. I thought of my favorite person as I looked through our memories that was in this small box. There was a picture of Jacob and I jumping into a lake when I was two. In this picture I look about eight or nine. I remember that day, it was when Jacob, me and the other pack members went camping down in Portland when it was really hot and swam all day. It was the first time I ever went in the water, what a good day. I wish I could go back to it and relive it...  
I pulled out a piece of paper when I opened it I saw it was a letter to me...but I had never seen it before. It was in Jacobs hand writing so I started to read it.

Dear Renesmee, I have wrote this thousand times and never can get it right so I am just going to say it. I love you, always have always will. When I first laded my eyes on you I knew that you were now the purposes to live. You kept me hear in place ever sents. Pleas don't freak out. When you read this, come to my house and we can talk about this. I will answer any questions you have.

Love, Jacob

p.s how did you get into trouble? I miss you

"MOM! " I screamed as tears flooded my face. I did not know what to think. Should I be mad at him for not telling me or should I be happy that he loves me? This was just to fast to think about Jacob, too fast to hear that he kept secrets from, to soon to hear that he had more feelings for me that I did not know about. "DAD!" I yelled once more just to make sure they heard me.

"What's wrong". My dad asked barging in to my room with grass in his hair and twigs too.  
"Did you guys know Jacob imprinted on me?" I asked standing up and showing them the letter as I wiped the tears that kept coming.  
"Bella...you said you would explain when it came time." he said as she flew up the stares with leafs in her hair too.  
"Oh it is time for, that talk".she said sitting on my bed as clam as can be.  
"Well I am going to go down stairs and let you girls have this talk." he said walking out of the door as if this was rehused.  
" why am I just finding this out...why through a letter" I asked wishing this would just be a dream and I will wake up into the world that I once knew home, Jacob as my friend .  
"Ok Nessie honey-  
"mom do not speak to me like I am two I want the truth no sweet hearts no sugar I love you's I want the bitter truth just as it comes." I shouted as my throat got thick with all the tears in my throat..  
"Ok...well sit and clam down." she said pointing to the bed. I sat.  
"Now tell me!"  
"I remember it quite vividly, it was a few days after you were born and I just woke up from being turned into a vampire by your father" she sighs at the memoire. "Just then Edward told me that Jacob imprinted on you, I was mad because I knew that if you found out that you would feel that you have to love him back, and I wanted you to feel the love between you two, cause you felt it not because you felt you had to or everyone wanted you to. I promised myself and you that I would let you find this feeling about Jacob on your own and that it was not right if any one I made everyone swear that they would not tell you Intel you felt it back. Don't be mad at everyone one because they were just trying to help" she explained. "Oh and especially do not be mad at Jacob he wanted to tell you so bad" she said with a chuckle at the end as if this was funny.

"What feeling...what is imprinted mean...?" I asked so confused.  
"Wait." she said standing up and thinking or listing really hard because her smile left fast.

"Mom what's wrong?" I asked standing.

She smiles wide"nothing" .and then races out of my door faster than I have ever saw her run.

When I went down stairs to see why bella was acting funny everyone was talking and giggling, then I turned the corner and I saw, "ALICE!" I jumped in her arms and hugged her as tight as I could pushing my mom away.

" whoa, Hi to you too. "Alice said peeling me off of her, with her cheerful smile gilsing in the dim light on the table.

"So how was your trip?" I asked still in Alice's face so happy that she is back.

"It was um...good. "Alice said with a laugh and looked at Jasper, I think if she could blush she would be so red. "How are you babe?" Alice asked sitting on a diner chair as If she could be sleepy.

I lifted my hand up to touch her cheek and showed her my depression and how much I wanted to see _my_ Jacob, everything about the letter and how I still wanted to know so much that my parents are keeping me from knowing, like what imprinted means and why Jacob says his in love with me, and about what I did to that poor man.

"OH, Nessie I am so sorry". Alice said pulling me into a hug as if she felt my pain.

"I miss him a lot." I tried to choke out but my voice was drowning in my tears I was not sure if she could understand what I said but I knew that I could not live any longer with out him it was just not happening.

"I know I know." Alice whispered in my ear laying my head on her shoulder, I could not help but to be happy to smell her sweet perfume it was a smell I missed dearly.

"I do not know what do Alice I miss him like crazy and things are just not adding up...it is like I feel a hole in my chest and when ever Jacob is brought up a solid rock falls in it, it hurts." I said wiping my eyes and smearing eyeliner down my cheek but I didn't care.

"It will be ok, I mean you will make new friends." Alice said putting my hair up in a sloppy ponytail to get it out of my face now that I was all hot and sweaty from crying.

"WAIT your siding with them!" I yelled pulling away and looking around every one standing there watching my melt down as if it was televison.

"Well they're your parents and they know what's best for you. "Alice explained looking at my dad then jasper to clam the mood. I hated when he did that it took a big effect on me for some reason.

"So you think me missing Jacob and not being able to see him is what's good for me, you think my feelings for him that i am confused about can just be left unexplained you think that every time I feel this anger I can just kill another person?" I said as I tried not to cry because of my confusion and pain I was betrayed by the one I trusted the most.

"I am sorry Renesmee there is nothing I can do they're your mom and dad honey. "Alice said trying to clam me down but it made me madder, way madder I threw a sharp look at Alice the rudest and most nasty look I could pull out of my self.

"Whatever... and don't call me honey." I said coldly as I ran up stairs almost falling because my vision was blurry from the tears.

I flopped on my bed knocking the wind out of my self most likely to have bruised my face, HA! That would be fun to explain "my bed attacked me" I said laughing at my joke but the smile faded, when I heard what they were talking about. "_So what did you tell her?""just the truth""so she knows about it all""well, I told her what she needed to know""ok well if that's what you think is good for her bella then that's good"_there's more, how much more? I thought as I felt like I was going to puke and the tears were coming back, I did not want them to but I was hurt so bad and more I tried to find out what's going on more hurt I get. I curled up on my bed with the blankets around me like a shelid. I slowly drifted to sleep I didn't noticed how sleepy I really was.

"Renesme, get down here!" dad yelled with a hint of joy in his voice. I sat up and looked at the time...it was four in the morning and it is September 4th. I jumped off of my bed and into my bathroom, straight into the shower. The water was a bit to hot but it felt grate and very relaxing it woke me up. I washed my body and hair sing along to a song that was on the stereo in my shower. _"Cut my wrist and black my eyes, for I can fall asleep tonight or die. Because you kill me! You know you do you kill me well you like it to I can tell"_ I got of the hot steamy shower and dried off running my fingers threw my hair trying to dry it. I slipped on my undies and then my skinny jeans I wore four days ago, they weren't really dirty just worn who cares. I put on my bra and a black T that said "the only promise in life is death"(kissa tehe) sadly that was not even true to me.

I did nothing to my hair really just let it do it's thing witch mostly was curling. I decided to put on some black eyeliner and red lipstick just for the day no need really.

"Nessie come down here!" my dad yelled again.

Oh god now what do they want I thought as I walked down stairs and into the living room. I sighed at the sight of them I was still mad at them, I would never for give them for keeping me from Jacob this long I mean 4 mouths is a very long time and in girl years that's like eight years. "What?" I asked with a fed up look on my face sitting on a kitchen chair.

"Your mother and I have been thinking and we think what we did to you was not fair." dad said very slowly like he did not want to say it but he knew it was true.

"When did you figure that out?" I asked not looking at them with a sarcastic tone rolling my eyes because I knew what they were talking about just by my dads face.

"We also thought that you can go visit Jacob for only a week, once every two months." mom said with an unwanted tone as she scrambled eggs.

"Really?" I asked with a happier tone thinking they cracked finally I can see Jacob.

"Yes, only because you have been good for the past 4 months and if your willing go to high school here when you return.." dad said.

"Oh my god." I said jumping up and down and gave them a fast hug.

"So you agree?" mom asked.

"Yeah thank you" I said hugging them both.

"Be safe honey". Dad sighed handing me more money than I would have needed to go to china for a year.

I smiled"so who's driving me?" I asked knowing that I did not want to walk all the way to Washington even though I would of.

"I will" uncle emmett said holding up his keys like it was a play and he was just waiting for his turn.

"Thanks". I smiled walking out the front door and into his truck I sat there for a few before he even came out, probably mom and dad telling him what not to let me do...blah blah blah.

It took me 33 miles to notice that I did not bring anything with me no close no cell phone no tooth brush no...anything. I also saw that this was the best day that I lived in Alaska and I was leaving, how weird how that works.

"So Nessie, are you happy you get to see Jacob?" uncle asked looking at me as if he didn't already know the answer.

"Well I am more than happy...I am scared too, nervous, I cant help but to feel a knot in my stomach it is like I feel like he has changed and...is not my best friend anymore I just have that feeling." I said chewing on my thumb.

"Well things have changed but I think he will still be your best friend, just now you wont be able to see him that much so when time comes when you can it would be more percious to you two. I think that this is good for you, to have space and who knows you might find a nice young boy here you like." he said still looking at me, and not the road. The thought of finding some one to like/love is scary.

"The road" I whispered.

"You know if you ever need something or somebody, I am here for you." he said slowing down.

"I know and I am thankful for your support " I mumbled my mom probably wanted him to say that.

"So do you want me to drive you all the way or would you like to take the plane?" he asked finally looking at the road.

"Ah...I ummm, the plane would be fine" I could not decide.

"Mmmk. what you don't want to be stuck in the car with me.?" he teased.

"It's just I want some time alone to think of what I am going to say." I explained my answer to him and to me.

"Oh, well I hope everything goes good I would not want to see you sad, or I might just have to kick some harry puppy butt" he said teasing again.

"He is not a "puppy"...but I will be fine." I lied but for some reason I felt like it would be ok.

" sorry...I forgot you cared....and I know it will be just fine." he said with a smile and then his smile turned to stone.

"What's wrong." I asked. He said nothing."uncle emmett?" I pleaded.

"Beal." he cruised and then snapped the around into a dirt road. I looked at him confused as I braced my self agensted the car door "who are they". I said as I looked out of the truck window, I saw a boy about 17 and a old man he looked familiar very familiar.

"You saw that man, well you bit him remember?" he said eyeing the car that was now chasing us.

"Y-yeah I remember, but I did not know that he was that old..and who's the boy?' I asked putting on my seat belt moving my tongue around remembering the taste of his blood.

"He is his grandson, and it is very common for the first time you taste human blood you past out and remember only the best parts of it." he explained as he made another sharp turn back onto the high way as if he read my mind.

"So w-" I cleared my throat"why are they chasing us?" I finished my questions.

"Well I guess when you bit tom the old man, he did not like it to much so now he wants to kill you." he said it like he knew it by heart. I was shocked speechless.

"K-kill m-me" I finally choked out.

"But they wont, I wont let then Edward wont let them Alice wont let them your going to be fine" he said trying to convenes me, and well himself.

I swallowed hard and sunk into my seat.

He looked over at me "its going to be fine." he said again. I didn't move."uhhuh" I mumbled softly.

He sped up pushing 109. I started to see the airport for some reason that seemed safe. I didn't see the other car. Maybe we lost them.


End file.
